A dirt(ybird) night out

This weekend, I was very lucky young man. Goateenie and I got on the guest list for Mixmag Live's 'Dirtybird Players' night, at The Village Underground in Shoreditch. The gig was unsurprisingly sold out (apart from a few £35 tickets on the door), so you could probably guess... I was a tad excited.

After all, it was a quite mouth watering prospect to see all of Dirtybird's top talent in the same night (Claude Von Stroke, Justin Martin, Eats Everything, Catz N Dogz, J.Phlip and Kill Frenzy were all on the line-up). 

Moreover, I had only heard good things about the venue, as my brother Corque's artist Ofei performed there a little while ago and they both thought it was a wicked little place.

Slightly different to what it looked like at the gig...but you get the idea!

To give you a bit of background, The Village Underground was constructed in 2007 as an answer to the ever increasing need for affordable, environmentally stable studio space for artists in central London. 

The main centre is a renovated turn-of-the-century warehouse,  and houses everything from concerts and club nights to exhibitions, theatre, live art and other performances. 



Most importantly, the design of the building means the sound system is meant to be...well...epic.

It was reverberating Catz 'n Dogz as we got there

So, making sure we had plenty of time to get our rave on, Goateenie and I arrived at around midnight and could hear Catz n Dogz set as soon as we entered the building. Well, when I say hear, I actually mean feel... the whole place was reverberating with the sound of dirty(bird) bass. 

Entering the building, we noticed how simple yet effective the layout was...you walk into a small cloakroom area, with the main brick layered hall to the left, and a cave like area straight in front where the bar was.

Not wanting to waste any of our time, we let the vibrating floor bounce us all the way to a quite splendid position on the dance floor, where we spent the next 4 or so hours on, going-for lack of a better phrase- FUCKING MENTAL.

Highlights of the night for me were:

1. Listening to Claude Von Stroke's phenomenal remix of Renegade Master

2. Watching Eats Everything act just as excited as everyone in the crowd at how good that remix was.

3. Being told by some guy from somewhere in Eastern Europe that the Dirtybird 'players' make music (and I quote):

                                                    "To fuck me"


We both had to be up at 8.30 for Sunday football, so being the sensible chaps we are, Goateenie and I threw the towels in before the end of Eats Evertying's set. However, we certainly got our share of the nights outrageous tunes...36 hours on and my ears were still ringing from the awesomeness of the bass! 

In fact, the night was so fun that we just booked to go back for Groove Armada on April 20th.

If you fancy coming along or just want to find out what the venue has to offer, check out the following links:

http://villageunderground.co.uk/events

http://mixmaglivegroovearmada.eventbrite.com/

Oh, and if you want to listen to my bro's artists check out their websites below:

http://www.official-o.com/

http://iamromans.com/

1luv,

Finey

xxx

p.s. cheers Corque for sorting the night out 

'I wish to complain about this meal'...

The above quote is what my brother said to get the attention of Ricardo, the general manager at Burger & Lobster in Soho. 

Apparently it took the guy by complete surprise, as whenever he normally asks a customer how the food is, 99/100 times the response will be something along the lines of: "its delicious"; or "absolutely fantastic". 

Ohhhhhhhhh mama

After all, not only is Burger & Lobster now infamous for its beautifully simple menu (a choice of three £20 meals: a burger; a lobster; or a lobster brioche), but it is regarded as a place where the food is ''perfectly cooked, at a price that will please even if you’re feeling the pinch" (Time Out).





So, when my brother Corque grabbed Ricardo by the arm and insinuated that there was a problem with the food, I'm sure he was as amused as he was relieved when he heard:

"Yes Ricardo...I wish to make a complaint...about how f*cking GOOD this food is!"



In fact, Corque must have made such an impression on Ricardo, that when we ventured back to the Dean Street restaurant a couple weeks later, he remembered who my brother was, and let him, myself and our good friend Romania skip the TWO HOUR queue to be guided to the best seats in the house...

Truly feeling like Burger and Lobsteroyalty, we were immediately hit by the smell of rich lobster tail being dipped into a glorious garlic butter sauce. I felt like Tanka from Rescue Rangers, hypnotised whilst I was gliding towards the booth Ricardo had prepared for us...

Like a mouse to some cheese...

My mouth watered as we sat down in a great location, in full view of both the chef's kitchen and the lobster tank. 

Yes, it tastes even better than it looks

And so, thrilled that I was about to find out what Corque had been raving about, we looked at the menu and ordered... Three 1.5 pound lobsters, as well as a lobster brioche to share (purely because of how good it looked when the person sitting next to us tucked into hers)

Eventually, the meal came, and my GOD was it every bit as good as the reviews said it was...The lobster brioche was heavenly...the bread buttery and sweet, the filling fridge cold and perfectly seasoned. Then there was the lobster meal itself which, accompanied by a generous portion of crispy fries and a side salad, was so good I could have made love to it let alone eat it.

Protecting my clothes (from the juice squirting out of the cracked lobster shell) with a plastic bib, I did a 'Curly Sue' and sucked on the end of each of my fingers, licking the stunning Lobster and garlic jus off of them. I would go as far as to say that the meal was so good that all three of us were actually gutted to have finished our plates...

Already excited to go back

Anyway, like all good managers, Ricardo of course came over to check we were satisfied (presumably expecting some kind of semi offensive quip).  We told him that we were: 

a) Genuinely offended by the quality of the meal 

and 

b) Convinced he should be arrested for serving such good food in his restaurant.

In fact, the only negative thing about the meal that night was hearing the people sitting next to us order the burger instead of the lobster. Don't get me wrong, you should really have a burger on the menu if you are going to call you restaurant 'Burger and Lobster', but really out of courtesy as opposed to anything else. I mean, why on earth would you spend £20 on a beef patty when they can feast on a 1.5 pound sea monster instead? Madness. 

Anyway, you'll be pleased to know that there are now four Burger & Lobster restaurants around town, so like me, if your mouth is drooling at the thought of tucking into some of their food, you can find their details on:

http://www.burgerandlobster.com/


1luv,

Finey

x

Ping pongs

Clearly, all it takes is an original theme and a lot of alcohol to make something the 'in thing' nowadays. Take Ping Bar for example. It took a small and dim lit Earls Court shop, added some table tennis tables and alcohol, and created one of London's most popular weekend spots.

After all, you'd think people fighting to get into the place at 8.30pm on a Saturday night would be because Harry Styles was playing beer pong inside. However, even if 1D's heart-throb was indeed having "a game of Beirut" in the bar, the only thing fellow Pinger's would be going crazy over, is the thought that they'd be the next in line to take aim and throw a table tennis ball into some cups of beer on the other side of the room.

Like I said... simple idea+ booze = shit hot venue.

So, with that in mind, when we ventured down last Saturday night for Lady Singdog and G-Chainz's joint Birthday celebrations, I was excited to see what all the hype was about. 

That's right...chocolate mutha f*ckin pizzas

We arrived pretty promptly (8.30pm) and it was already heaving inside. We walked past people biting into their freshly cooked chocolate pizzas, head nodded through a crowd of party goers who were dancing to old school tunes, before finally reaching the bar to purchase some tasty but slightly overpriced drinks (it cost me c£10 for a double and a mixer)...I was already getting excited about writing my blog about the place.

Probably taken on a Monday afternoon at Ping Bar...when it's closed.

Nonetheless, this joyous feeling was short lived. Turned out the ping pong tables were so busy that even though we were a group of 30 people, arrived on time and had an area especially reserved for us, our first game started at 11pm...Pretty cheeky considering that was kind of the reason why our hosts wanted to have their bash there in the first place.

Despite quite literally being stopped from getting into the swing of things, we still managed to fill those 2 and half hours with copious amounts of boozing, and therefore all had a ruddy good time. Put it this way, we were so drunk by 11pm that even being barged out the way by an adrenaline/steroid pumped bouncer (because he wanted to chuck out the "riff raff" drunks in the corner) was perfectly acceptable...  

Of course, that was until we realised this particular ruffian was actually the Birthday Boy, G-Chainz. Turned out he got so excited that we were finally able to play beer pong, he threw some beer over himself like the true G he is. Even Lady Singdog's attempt to defuse the situation, by giving the SS officer-turned-bouncer her puppy eyes were in vain. To be fair though, the c*nt had a point: throwing beer over yourself and a ping pong table is a serious no-no in a late night FREAKIN beer pong bar...

So, what are my final thoughts on Ping Bar I hear you ask?

Well, I had a hilarious night out with my mates but the ping ponged. However, that was more than made up by the amusing fact that the bouncers all had the same surname...shame I was too drunk to remember what that was, but I think it began with a D and ended with an ickhead.

Bounce- ah, that's better.

Having said all that, I think Ping is more a case of poor execution as opposed to a bad concept... I hear from friends that Bounce is much better: Taller ceilings; more space and equally decent music. Rumour has it you manage to get a game of table tennis in as well...

If you would rather make up your own mind about Ping, here's the website:

http://www.weloveping.com/#home


1luv,

Finey

x

p.s. Happy Birthday Lady Singdog and G-Chainz

The (not so) Secret Garden Party

Can you believe we're now in March? Madness. For me, March is always the month when summer planning gets cranked up another gear. This summer's main excursion (or should I say, potential life changing experience) is at the end of August, when Teapot, myself and two fellow "Playa Virgins" Goateenie and Twerky venture across the pond to the Burning Man festival.

However, before then I have to weigh up whether my metaphorical festival vagina can take a separate pounding from Cambridgeshire's hottest adventure...The Secret Garden Party.

The sculpture last year:mental.

Now don't get me wrong, for the last two years in a row SGP has teased me with it's breathtaking scenary (the festival centres around a lake with a huge sculpture in the middle), thrust itself deep into me with it's outrageous atmosphere, before making me orgasm on multiple occasions with its ridiculous activities. 




However, can I justify parting with between £170-£190 of my hard earned money to attend this year or should I save up to go towards my other trip? Just how much MORE could the organisers possibly plan to ensure the 2013 Gardeners leave as impressed as we did in 2012? 

After all, despite having to drag myself (and Teapot) through literal mud fields for an entire weekend, I came away genuinely depressed that another SGP weekend was over. 

And that's really because SGP is much more than a line up of quality bands, DJs and entertainers. Its a line up of sensational artwork, outrageous activities and surprising discoveries hidden behind every corner of the festival. 

For instance, a typical day could consist of the following:

Mud wrestling at the temple of boom is quite a sight

Wake up, head to Soulfire restaurant (that's right an actual restaurant) for a relatively well priced and delicious Eggs Benedict and Bloody Mary (cost circa £7). Then spend the day speaking with Aliens in the Culture Lab, listening to experimental beatboxers in the golf ball tent or crying with laughter at the mud wrestling tournament in the Temple of Boom...

An afternoon game of crazy golf or lounging around in a canoe on the lake will then inevitably be followed by a nap...

There's nothing quite like the pagoda during sunset

At around 7.30pm, get dressed up in some ridiculous fancy dress wear and head to the Pagoda (a wooden platform on the lake) to celebrate the sun setting and official start to the nightlife with a few hundred of your new found friends. 

Nightime at SGP- when the festival comes alive

Next, leave the pagoda and simply walk and discover...Get stuck in a video-game dance off  before talking to a couple of pixies under the fairy lights of a willow tree. Discover a secret Jazz/Soul tent deep in a hidden forest and then have a bit of a folk dance in a circus. Finally, after heading to a 1950's tea and cake restaurant to chat to some method actors about the war, finish the night off on a ferris wheel to see the sun rise.


SGP 2013 is already well under way. The top two tiers of tickets have already sold out. So whether you go really boils down to your faith that a year on year track record of pushing the festival boundaries means the organisers know what they're doing.

Shit...think I've just convinced myself to book a ticket for this year


If you want to as well, just go to:

http://www.secretgardenparty.com/#!/information/theme-2013/

1luv

Finey

x

The Future of Cinema

There we were, four friends getting slung into a prison cell on a Saturday night whilst being told to 'shut the f**k up' by the incredibly intimidating prison guards. I stood there, shocked at how scared I was. After all, this isn't a situation a boy like me is used to finding himself in.

Fortunately, I wasn't being locked down in a real life prison cell...I was in the middle of one of Future Cinema's simply legendary productions, which a group of us decided to partake in at the weekend.

With Secret Cinema and Future Shorts as well, Future Cinema is gaining cult following

For those of you who haven't heard of Future Cinema, they are an Experiential Events Company who put on live and interactive productions of popular films, which you (the audience) participate in, before finishing the evening off with a cinematic viewing of the chosen project.

They are well known for their Secret Cinema events, as well as their Future Cinema productions (the only difference being you don't know which film you are going to experience with the former). 

        Not quite how I felt when we left our Shawshank prison...

In our case, we knew what it was going to be...IMDB's number 1 film of all time, The Shawshank Redemption. So the pressure for the company to transport you back into the  scary world of Shawshank prison, without scaring you so much that you couldn't enjoy yourself must have been immense.


Nonetheless, I have to say the team behind the event came up trumps. Without wanting to give too much away, the night kicked off with a court hearing, followed by a 1940s bus ride to our converted prison adventure. With hundreds of method actors playing fellow prisoners and prison guards, and so many things to do and see, the following few hours of your 'life' in prison was completely unique from the other guests of the event.

The prison guards weren't the friendliest of people

At the end of the evening, all prisoners were marched into the auditorium in single file, where we watched the iconic film (with impressively crystal clear sound and picture quality) our evening was based around.

Its not cheap at c£45pp, but every single one of us came out thinking we had received serious value for money.

The next Future Cinema event (Casablanca) will be completely different but presumably equally epic.

I've already bought my ticket...if you want to join the cinematic revolution, you can get yours at:

http://futurecinema.co.uk/tickets.html

1luv,

Finey

x

A Ginger in a Line

It was my special lady's birthday (otherwise known as Teapot) and I knew a trip down to the local curry house wouldn't quite cut it. 

So, having read a review about a new, up and coming secret dinner party called 'Gingerline', I booked two tickets, praying that I hadn't made the wrong decision.

A couple weeks later on a cold Thursday evening, Teapot and I set off, excited and nervous about the fact that we literally had NO IDEA what we were getting ourselves in for (even though we'd read up about previous parties Gingerline parties are renowned to constantly reinvent themselves so you never know which one you are going to)


So, getting off at the appropriate station, we followed some mysterious illuminous markings on the floor and reached our destination for the evening. 

When we arrived, the nerves once again kicked in...after all, I was meant to be taking out my darling Teapot to a what I believed would be a Birthday extravoganza. However, at that point we found ourselves standing with about 20 or so fellow 'Gingerliners' down a dark back street, behind a row of random shops in the middle of nowhere.

Thankfully, this was the last time that I felt so concerned...

Soon enough, a door opened and we were guided through a candle lit underground tunnel into some kind of 1970's Burlesque French Casino completely covered from top to bottom in gold...

We were handed a delicious cocktail, and once everyone was seated, officially greeted by our eccentric hostess for the evening (right). 

Add caption

A load of cocktails, intro's to our fellow diners, 4 glorious courses, and a load of hilarious Casino style dinner party games later (including spin the wheel of fortune, and a serenade from an erotic waiter/waitress), and Teapot and I found ourselves bang smack in the middle of what Time Out calls "the most riotous, otherworldy experience you have ever had the good luck to attend".

This was surely highlighted no greater than during my toilet visit...which turned out to be a journey into some kind of neon painted porn shop that was falling into the Abyss.

The toilets: serious WTF factor

So, would I recommend Gingerline? Absolutely. However, unless you are particularly keen to meet new people, I would strongly suggest going with a group of mates. Nothing at all against the really lovely girls we spent our evening with, but being forced to introduce yourself to a bunch of strangers when you are sobre is always a bit awkward ...especially when you're doing it in an underground Burlesque French Casino in the middle of London suburbia.

Check out the website on:

http://www.gingerline.info/index.html

1luv,

Finey

x

A Bit of Midweek Inspiration

There I was, bored at work and looking for any excuse to have fun

It came in the form of an group email from a very dear friend who had suddenly been blessed with an absolute gem of a gift. The email stated the following:

Subject: Re: Ushers
To:XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
From: XXXXXXXXXXXX
Date: Sun, 20 Jul 2012 10:23:44 +0000

Hi Guys,

Good news! Get your thinking hats on.

Our good friend XXXXXXX is on his honeymoon with his new wifey. But whilst they are enjoying the mexican sun we have a ripe opportunity to hit him where it hurts. 

He has left me his flat keys to "check in and see if everything is ok" whilst he is gone so let me know some ideas 

X



And so, within about 5 minutes we came up with a plan:

Blow up as many balloons as it is necessary to fill his entire bathroom (leaving of course water balloons on the floor for him to step in), and tin foil every single piece of HIS belongings in his bedroom (not wanting to upset his Mrs too much we left hers unscathed)

It took 4 hours, 5 rolls of tin foil and 800 balloons but in the end we did it...

Best Thursday night out I've had in a long time

1luv

Finey

x