" I don't care if none of you can come, I'm going to Vegas for my stag"

Corque dressed as a c*nt: how ironic.

Let's set the scene. 

It was about 4am, and after 7 hours of a pre stag (see previous post if you don't understand) which included copious drinking, gold fish force feeding and body pissing- yes, actual urinating on bodies- my beautiful brother Corque was in such a mess that he was starting to become, let's say, a bit vulgar.

Why? Well, because by 4am Corque was not just suggesting to all those in my TV room, but outright insisting that even if NONE of us could come, he was going to Vegas for his stag.

Of course, like with most things Corque does and says, we were taking this behaviour with a pinch of salt.  After all, Corque is known to exaggerate when voicing his opinion at the most sober of times. However, as the weeks unfolded and Corque continued to insist that it was Vegas or nothing for him, despite our countless attempts to make him consider that very few were willing to join him, we knew we needed to do something drastic.

And so, we decided that we had no choice but to do the following:

1. Plan an epic stag trip to Vegas for the select group of Corque's closest friends and family members who were willing to come.

2.  Then when we get to the check in desk at Heathrow, turn around to our beloved stag and tell him that we weren't going to Vegas...in fact, we were going straight home as his stag wasn't even starting that day.

Indeed, this c*nt was going to get royally fucked. 

However, despite being a brilliant idea, the planning had to be so perfect that even if Corque had his doubts, he would simply HAVE to believe we were going. And so, the next 3 months we devised the perfect prank.

The plan of attack was as follows:

1. Get someone totally trustworthy on board 

2. Inform all of those involved from a very early stage about our plans

3. Set up a diversion prank

4. Plan a trip to Vegas

So, after an intense few months of planning, here's what happened:


1. Get someone trustworthy on board

We knew that if the actual prank was to be believable, we needed to have people on board who Corque would never suspect to be a part of the prank. Therefore, a month or so before the main event, we called up my Dad, aka Mr. MTIP, and told him that he was going to be joining us in teaching Corque a highly important life lesson. Without hesitation, he accepted.

Someone trustworthy was very much on board.

2. Inform all of those involved from a very early stage

Two months before the prank, we informed all those participating about our plans. We told them they could not tell anyone- even their girlfriends/wives- that this was a prank. If Corque asked any questions, they would have to act excited but refuse to say anything. In effect, they would have to live their everyday lives as if they were actually going to Las Vegas.

Method acting friends: check.

3. Diversion Prank

In order to throw Corque off the scent, we got one of his close friends, Future Cutie, to play a prank on him only a couple days before the main one.  The prank had to be convincing though and look like we put real effort into it.

Therefore, we got Future Cutie to arrange for Corque to go to a "really important" business meeting he had set up, at the hotel bar of the Mandarin Oriental at 10.30pm. At the hotel, at this highly inconvenient hour, Corque would have to pitch a business idea to one of Future Cutie's American business colleague's looking to invest in a new up and coming UK music project.

An hour or so before Corque arrived, we informed the head waiter that he would be coming in and said that when he orders 3 expensive alcoholic drinks (peach Bellini's to be precise) he would come over with a sealed envelope to hand over with the drinks to Corque. 

Corque arrived at 10.30pm. We were parked round the corner. He was dressed in a suit and had his business satchel on him with presentation in hand. He ordered 3 Bellini's and the waiter gave him an envelope which in short had the following message:

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...you got pranked. Get ready for your stag...you don't deserve any of it, but it's going to be epic".

Corque then left the hotel, and we caught him coming out in a suit and tie, holding a leather folder containing his presentation, and looking like a rather embarrassed young man:

Diversion prank...check.

4. Plan a trip

It HAD to look like it was actually his stag trip to Vegas. We therefore organised what we thought we would have done if we were actually going:

• Official stag t shirts
• An official stag song
• Official stag rules
• A mini bus to drive us all to Heathrow airport
• An official stag opening ceremony
• Printed off flight details
• Printed off hotel bookings

We also decided to:

• Create a 20 page Vegas trip itinerary (including the fake phone numbers of the club promoters we had to get in touch with whilst we were in Vegas), 
• Organise members of the group who "couldn't make it", to text or phone Corque, timing their messages for when we were on the motorway heading towards the airport
• Tell everyone to actually pack suitcases with toiletries, shoes, shirts, swimwear, trousers etc etc)

• Tell  my brother's fiancée that we were genuinely taking Corque to Vegas for his stag, telling her to keep it a secret and pack a bag for him without him knowing.

Oh and before I forget, we also:

• Ordered a stag costume as well which we felt was highly appropriate. After all, as Corque was being framed for acting like a c*nt, we would dress him up as a life size vagina.

Like I said...success was in the detail.

So, I'm sure the question on everyone's lips is how did it go? 

Well, Corque may tell you that he "knew" the whole thing was a setup. Personally, I just think that he only reacted as anyone of us would if you had just been royally slaughtered by a group of boys that included closest friends, your brother, and even you bloody Dad.   

But I guess the only fair thing to do is to let you be the judge of that. So sit back, relax, whack the video onto full screen, and take it in... 

So, Vegas Prank: done.

For those who think this is taking "banter" a step too far, please don't worry. Corque's actual stag was sensational, so keep a look out for next week's post, where I will go through what we did to make up for this event.

1luv,

Finey

p.s. big love to Corque for taking it like a man as opposed to the vagina he was dressed as 

xxx